Bruschetta with SyrinxxMinxx

SyrinxxMinxx is a long time friend from La Domaine, and the only person I have bumped into in my time in NYC, twice. One time at a kinky toy store, and once at what is now my favorite Tibetan food place.

We decided it would be fun to go to the park for a picnic and to feed the birds.

I used local, fresh tomatoes from my CSA, homegrown basil, and a garlic bread from a baguette from the new bakery down the street from me. I had been eyeing these baguettes every time I got coffee at the bakery, and would try to come up with excuses as to why I, a gluten free lass for 5 years, would ever have the need to buy one.

The pastries here look so good, that I once bought my friend a strawberry ricotta muffin just to watch her eat it.

I looked longingly at the baguettes for weeks, sometimes going into the store and not even wanting coffee, and coming with the sole purpose of admiring the baguettes.

When I heard that Syrinxx was coming to town, and being quite the masochist, I knew I would make her a beautiful meal in which I could not partake, and only enjoy voyeuristically.

Tomato Bruschetta:

1 pint cherry tomatoes (I like the rainbow kind!)

small handful basil

small splash of white truffle oil (olive oil will do)

smaller splash of balsalmic vinegar

pinch of salt

SMALL pinch of hot pepper flakes

pepper to taste

1. Half the cherry tomatoes and add the diced basil.

2. Mix white truffle oil, vinegar, pinch of salt, hot pepper flakes and pepper in a small bowl, and whisk.

3. Combine the dressing and the tomatoes, and let sit in the fridge.

Garlic Bread:

1 delicious, amazing looking, glutenous baguette

so much garlic (I used 7 or 8 cloves)

Handful of shredded Parm Cheese

half a stick of butter

salt

pepper

hot pepper flakes

1. Preheat the oven to 350°. Half the baguette.

2. Dice the garlic.

3. Melt the butter in a small pot. Do not let the butter boil, it should be at the point of just finishing melting. Take off the heat and add in the garlic and seasonings. 

4. Brush the butter mixture over the inside of the baguette. Put pieces of the baguette back together, wrap in tinfoil and put in the oven for 15 minutes. Turn oven off.

5. When done, sprinkle Parmesan cheese inside of your garlic bread, rewrap and stick in the cooling oven. (this is a particularly masochistic move on my part, as I am both gluten free and lactose intolerant) 

Serve while warm.

Syrinxx liked the snack, and so did the ducks.

Kimchi with Hal.

Recently, ALL of my ‘vanilla’ friends have been asking me subtly (and not so subtly so) to give bondage lessons, from drunken text requests for ‘tie up fun time’ to serious inquiries about certain knots. It is commonly known, or at least assumed, that if you are my friend, I have tied you up. If I haven’t, we haven’t been friends long enough. Hal is one of the exceptions. Having known her since I was flat chested (yes - there was a time), and knowing her interest, it was an anomaly that I hadn’t tied her.

Hal came to visit me in NY and spend a few days with me for my birthday, because, she is the best. She and I talked a lot about health, eating and living holistically. I decided that she would have to try my version of Kimchi before she left. Kimchi is a great source of probiotics, which are great for intestinal health. I stole this quote from the internet:

‘Kimchi contains the bacterium called lactobacillus kimchi as well as other lactic acid bacteria that are beneficial to our gastrointestinal as well as immune systems. A typical kimchi made with Chinese cabbage, carrot, garlic, ginger, onion and pepper is also high in vitamin A, C, B1, B2, beta-carotene, calcium and iron. Animal studies also suggested that kimchi may be effective against the avian flu virus.’

(http://theconsciouslife.com/top-probiotic-foods.htm) (news to me about the bird flu!)

I make Kimchi around once a week from the contents of my CSA, because what the fuck else do you do with all of that cabbage? The contents of my Kimchi change weekly, depending on what I have in my fridge. I do, however, manage to put kimchi on everything, from tacos to salads to eggs.

For Hal I made a sunny side up egg, on a gluten free bagel with Kimchi and siracha.

Rainbow Kimchi

Part 1:

Half a head of red cabbage
Half a head of nappa cabbage
1 cup salt

Part 2:

three inches of ginger
6 cloves of garlic,
any other hard veggies (turnips, radishes, kohlrabi) shredded
2 shredded carrots
¼ cup hot pepper flakes (or less if you are a baby)
⅓ cup fish sauce
salt and pepper to taste

Part 3:
1 cup water

1/2 cup sweet rice flour

1/4 cup sugar

Part 1: Chop the cabbage and soak in salted water for two hours. Drain.

Part 2: shred all veggies and mix in hot pepper flakes, fish sauce and salt and pepper

Part 3: Bring 1 cup of water, ½ cup sweet rice flour, and ¼ cup sugar to a simmer until thick and gooey, mix everything together.

Put the mixture into ball jars and seal tightly. Do not fill too high, or they will explode! Let stand at room temperature for 24-48 hours and then for 5 more days in the fridge. ENJOY for 2-3 weeks or until the stink goes from good stink too bad stink.

***I would highly recommend doing the intricate bondage before making the egg sandwich, as it is pretty gross cold.

Sweet Curry Lentil Soup with Mistress Mae

This is Mistress Mae. And this week I cooked her a sweet curry lentil soup. I met Mae when I was four and we traipsed in and out of the same schools until we were 18 and went to separate colleges. One of my first experiences with experimental cooking involved Mae, a microwave (we were not allowed to use the stove), brown sugar and carrots. The experience struck me so much, that when I mention Mae to my mom, she brought up the brown sugar microwaved carrots as well.

Mae and I didn’t talk much over the last five years, aside from the occasional facebook post. I remember Mae once commenting on a link I posted on facebook of a photography project I was working on documenting life at the BDSM Chateau where I was training. She wrote, “Where was I when you were becoming fucking AWESOME?” And I wanted to tell her that I had always been awesome, but that I was just shy. When we met up after college, after both finding ourselves living in Brooklyn, she asked what I was doing. I told her that I was working as a dominatrix. She replied with the epitome of nonchalance, “Oh, cool. I was working as a domme last year.”

Mae is a dominatrix AND a vegetarian. Which is something that I had not learned well enough until after cooking this meal for her, and showing her the blog post, to which her only comment was, “CHICKEN BROTH?” Oops. Consent was always something that I had thought about in regards to the dungeon, not the kitchen. As a dominatrix I have learned how to negotiate 'scenes' and I suppose that it is important to negotiate your wants and needs in all aspects of your life, and make your hard limits of ‘meat broth’ be known upfront.

Mae will tell you that you can use vegetable broth in this recipe, and I will tell you what my father told me, “never trust a vegetarian.”

Sweet Curry Lentil Soup

One medium sized sweet potato

Red Onion

3 handfuls chopped Kale

1 cup of green lentils

Chicken Broth / Bouillon

Curry Powder

Paprika

Dill

Bay leaf

Cumin

Olive Oil

Salt and Pepper

1. Cube the sweet potato, the onion and chop the kale. Heat oil in soup pot on medium, and cook the veggies until the onions are caramelized.

2. Pour chicken broth (or water and chicken bouillon) so it just covers the veggies and they just start to float. Add in 3 sprigs of dill and 2 bay leaves. Wait for liquid to start to boil and turn it to simmer. Simmer veggies for 30 minutes or until the sweet potatoes are soft.

3. Once soft, turn heat off and remove the bay leaves. Take an immersion blender (or food processor / blender) and blend until smooth. Add in 2-3 heaping tablespoons of curry powder, 1 teaspoon of cumin and a dash of smoked paprika. Add salt and pepper to taste.

4. Can be served with a dollop of yogurt or sour cream and garnished with a fresh sprig of dill.

Martine Phoenix Shredded Salad

Martine Phoenix came over for a photo shoot the other day. I don't know who came up with the aphorism 'don't feed the models', but I am a firm believer that you can't do anything well while hungry. This salad provided us with the proper vitamins and nutrients to do a naked photo shoot in Prospect Park.

Salad
1/2 head lettuce
3 large carrots - grated
3 small beets - grated
2 avocados
1 can cannellini beans
handful of radish flowers, sunflower shoots, or sprouts of any kind

Dressing
Juice of 1 large lime
1/4 cup - Olive oil
Splash of Balsamic Vinegar
Soy sauce
Salt and pepper
Hot pepper flake
Splash of lime hot sauce


1. Rinse and chop lettuce (any kind is fine).

2. Shred or grate carrots and beets and cube the avocados. 

3. Add shredded carrots, beets, rinsed cannellini beans, cubed avocados, and handful of sprouts to your lettuce and mix gently with your hands.

4. To make the dressing - combine all ingredients into a glass bowl and whisk together. Pour over salad when you are ready to eat and enjoy. 

Miss Couple's Shrimp Superfood Salad

After a day of kinky photo shooting in an abandoned insane asylum in Queens, Miss Couple and I came back to my apartment contemplating the possibility of having contracted tetanus, lead poisoning and possibly rabies. We were feeling depleted, dirty and VERY hungry.

I decided to cook up this shrimp superfood salad based on a recipe I found on IowaGirlEats.com and what I had available in my kitchen. I also doubled her recipe because it keeps well in the fridge, and it is fucking delicious. This dish is incredibly versatile; you can eat it cold, with shrimp, chicken or tofu, as a side dish, as a main course or on a bed of fresh spinach. Anyway you eat it, you won't regret it.

Miss Couple's Shrimp Superfood Salad:

1 cup of dry quinoa (red or white) (cooked as per directions and cooled)
3 ears of fresh corn kernels (or 1 can of corn - rinsed)
1 can of black beans
2 diced avocados
1/2 medium sized red onion, diced
1 orange, peeled and diced
1 sweet grapefruit
1 handful chipped cilantro
2 handfuls sunflower sprouts (if you have them)
salt and pepper to taste

1/2 lb shrimp
pat of butter
2 lemons or 2 limes - juiced
1/8th cup olive oil
balsamic vinaigrette
4 cloves of garlic - dived

1. Cook the quinoa according to directions and let cool.

2. Add corn kernels, black beans, diced avocados, red onion, orange, grapefruit, cilantro and sunflower sprouts to quinoa and mix with a spatula.

3. Heat butter in pan, add shrimp once butter is melted.  Add diced garlic and cook shrimp until pink.

4. Add lime/lemon juice, olive oil, and a splash of balsamic. Turn off heat.

5. Put shrimp in separate container and add the juice left in the pan to the salad and mix. Add salt and pepper to taste.

6. Dish out the salad and decorate as you will with the shrimp!

Enjoy!

Mistress Blunt's Beet Greens

Mistress Blunt says, "Only you can prevent veggie top waste!" This recipe can be used for turnip, beet, and radish greens! It is super easy to prepare. It makes a good side dish or light summer meal, and best of all makes sure that you utilize the whole vegetable and get all of the nutrients and yadda, yadda.

Mistress Blunt's Beet Greens
1 bunch beet greenssmall handful chopped shallots
3 cloves of garlic diced
quarter cup of water (for steaming)
splash of balsamic
splash of red wine
salt and pepper
crushed red pepper flakes

serves: 1

1. Take your leftover beet greens and wash them thoroughly.

2. Chop up the better part of a medium sized shallot. Throw them in a hot pan with olive oil.

3. When shallots start to brown toss the beet greens into the pan, reduce heat and stir. Add a quarter cup of water and cover.

4. Dice the garlic and add to the beet greens and shallots and turn up the heat.

5. Splash in the balsamic and red wine and add salt, pepper and crushed red pepper flakes to taste.